Peanut Day, part the first.

Peanut Day, part the first.

February 17, 2010, 8:34 AM
Filed under: In Which I Try Again | Tags: Peanuts

Hey hey, it’s Peanut Day!  As threatened, I will consume nothing but peanut products today.  Here’s to not vomiting!

Let’s leap headlong into this thing.  I slept in this morning as my subconcious obviously wants to avoid this nonsense, so I do have the advantage of being very hungry.  Hungry enough to enjoy the dreaded nut?  Ladies and gentlemen: the first opponent!  Strangely textured!  Foul smelling!  It’s…

PEANUT BUTTER ON TOAST!

Sorry, toast.

(Some ghastly flash in that pic, but I like to think it makes the peanut butter look startled and uneasy.)

This looks gross.  I got chunky peanut butter as it seemed more hardcore.  If I’m going to eat peanut butter I don’t want to do things by halves.  It’s kind of hard to spread.  Smells peanutty.  I can’t think of anymore observations to make in order to delay this, so here goes.

*NOM*

There is PEANUT BUTTER in my MOUTH.  It’s sticking to the top of my mouth!  Oddly enough, I’m glad it’s the chunky kind.  I don’t think I could deal with this just being the gluey pastey stuff.

*NOM*

I’m about halfway through the first slice.  My goal is to make it through both slices, and I’m feeling optimistic at the moment.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s an unpleasant taste, but it seems to have lost the explosive foulness I vaguely remember as a kid.  (Of course, a lot of my tastebuds have died since then.) The ghost of it is there though – something almost bitter that makes my tongue curl.

*NOM*

There’s a very slight sweetness to the peanut butter that unnerves me somewhat.  I’m not good at salty and sweet at the same time, it confuses me.

*NOM*

I’m thinking fondly of all the other things that this toast could have had on it.  Vegemite.  That would have been great.  Cream cheese.  Ah, cream cheese.  No!  Toasted cheese and tomato!  I can almost imagine I’m eating something that is NOT peanut butter for about half a second, but then it comes rushing back and I am very disappointed.

*NOM*

I’ve still only eaten one slice.

*NOM*

This is like enduring a long plane flight.  It’s unpleasant and boring and doesn’t smell great, but I probably won’t die unless things go horribly wrong.

*NOM*

I found a tiny corner on the second slice that only had margarine on it!  Cheered me right up.

*NOM*

Are you supposed to put margarine on as well?  Do people ever put other things with the peanut butter, PB&J aside?  Can it go with savoury things?

*NOM*

You should probably just talk amongst yourselves for a while.  This could take some time.

…

Still at it.  I’m flagging, but I only have about a quarter of a slice left.  Definitely slowing down, and the yuckiness is kicking in again.

*NOM*

So…close.  I feel a bit like having a tantrum from cranky exhaustion.

*NOM*

I’m chewing the last bite!  It’s nearly over!

OVER!  Who wants a free almost-full jar of peanut butter?  I’m going to make myself a nice cup of tea.  I need a palette cleanser.

It wasn’t as bad as it could have been.  It was like someone poking me repeatedly in the face for three hours (while making loud noises) as opposed to being brutally murdered.

SEVERAL HOURS LATER:

I have recovered somewhat from my first encounter with the peanut.  I am also hungry again.  It’s time for:

AN ASSORTMENT OF PEANUT-BASED LOLLIES!

A dubious feast.

I decided to sample the following: peanut brittle, a Picnic bar and (I found some, Kris!) Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

I began with peanut brittle.  The peanuts are quite upfront, aren’t they?  Big nasty chunks of them.  I liked the stuff in between the peanuts – the brittle, I suppose (my lovely assistant Courtney pointed out that it’s toffee) – as it reminded me of the good part of caramel popcorn.  I will admit that it was less unpleasant than I thought it would be.  Once you get used to the fact that the peanuts are not going away, it’s not so bad.  I am not a huge fan of nuts in general, but different kinds of brittle – macadamia nut perhaps – could be okay.

I can already sense a theme to my findings today.  Peanuts are gross, but less gross than they were once.  I’m not enjoying them, but I haven’t gagged.  I honestly thought I might (I would have as a child), so I’m surprised.

Moving on!  Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups!  They look like sweet little cupcakes, and part of me expects them to be hazelnut chocolate (no idea why).  OH.  The outside layer isn’t dark chocolate, it’s paper.  Ooops.  (The whole thing was wrapped in foil, so I kind of thought that was it for packaging.)

Oh my god.  Is this for real?  Ladies and gentlemen: I have only taken a few bites.  However, let the records indicate that THERE IS A PEANUT PRODUCT I LIKE!  I am VERY surprised.  These are pretty good.  They still have the peanut thing happening, but it WORKS.  It’s like salty chocolate.  I thought it would just be chocolate with peanut butter on the inside, and it kind of is, but it kind of isn’t.  You should eat some.

I will state it again: I like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.  I kind of wish I had bought more than two mini ones.  Anyway, I’m going to eat the other mini one and then report on the Picnic bar.  (I have to say this one more time: I like a peanut product!  This whole lark has just been made worthwhile already.  Thank you, Kris.)

So.  Can the less exotic Picnic bar surprise me just as much?  Let’s see.  They’re pretty ugly creatures.  Hmm.  This is like a Twix with peanuts grafted beneath its skin.  I’m tasting lots of pleasant things, like chocolate, wafers and caramel, and while there’s a peanutty element to the whole shebang for obvious reasons, it’s not drowning out the other tastes.  Maybe the Peanut Butter Cups have softened me up somewhat, but it’s not bad.  It makes the whole thing less sickly sweet, which is what can get overwhelming about chocolate bars.  An odd aftertaste, but passable.  I probably wouldn’t seek one of these out, but I wouldn’t run screaming from one either.

Who’da thunk it?  Peanut-based lollies = not really too bad.  Still can’t get over the fact that the Peanut Butter Cups tasted good.  It confuses me – I thought I found peanuts as close to their natural state as possible LESS gross than heavily processed, but those gosh darn Americans pulled one over me.

Tune in later this evening for part 2 of Peanut Day.  Hardcore girl-on-satay video action, and the final confrontation – me versus an actual non-tampered-with peanut (well, a salted peanut).

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