Amy Tries Again

August 26, 2011, 11:38 AM
Filed under: Miscellanea

I’ve been thinking about kissing. Specifically, stage kissing.  It seems a little gross that this is my next post after telling you all about my coldsores, but I suppose it’s something resembling a logical progression.  (Alternatively, it may be my next downward step towards Yoko Ono-esque stream-of-conciousness abstract blogging.)

Now!  I like to think that, in regular life, I am not a terrible smoocher.  I have no desire to undergo any sort of testing process, so make no claims to objective greatness, but I’m at least confident that I’m substantially better at it than I was when I was 15.  Nobody has ever run away or started laughing.  On these grounds, I award myself the rank of ADEQUATE.

All well and good, right?  No.  Because then there’s stage kissing.  I loves me up some theatre (particularly improvised theatre), but the second I have to kiss someone in character, I regress to the age of about 13.  Suddenly, I have no memory of how kissing works at all.  I have a vague idea that it involves the mashing of lips.  I become gung-ho, and full of bravado.  Let’s get this shit done!  I launch my face in my victim’s direction (the victim usually being Dan), swooping at them repeatedly like a drunken magpie.  Then I blush, because HAHAHA KISSING.


It is not what you would describe as tender.  It is also not what you would describe as particularly safe.  My last effort a few weeks ago involved my character in ‘Agatha Holmes’, our murder mystery series, responding to a heartfelt declaration of love.  Somehow, I managed to bite my onstage paramour’s eyebrow.  I swear this on all I hold dear.  The poor victim will testify.  And he’s not alone.  Slowly and surely, I am tattooing the male population of ImproMafia with sloppily applied lipstick.  It’s weird.  We’re a pretty close-knit company.  It’s a bit trite and soppy and not quite true to say I think of them as family, but they’re at least my second cousins or something, so it’s still weird.

Something must be done.   A flurry of ill-timed, awkward comedy kisses might work in a handful of situations, but tends to ruin serious dramatic moments.  And yes, we do have them – particularly in longform shows.  These run as serials, often over several seasons, which leads to stuff like actual character development and long-running relationships.  In every other aspect, I like to think I can drop into character fairly thoroughly.  I don’t want to break the moment by suddenly turning back into Amy.

I don’t know.  I guess it’s just something I have to work on, a little speedbump of embarrassment I need to get over if I want to be a better improvisor and actor.  And I do.  Of course I do.

Kissing party, anyone?  No?  Okay.  I’ll just get Ash some wigs.

* (Awkward moment captured perfectly by Kris Anderson.)


1 Comment so far
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Considering that most of ImproMafia’s stage kissing is almost-aggressive-homoerotic in nature, I’m pretty sure they don’t mind if you miss a lip and hit an eyebrow. The alternative is having Greg in their face. 🙂

Comment by GirlClumsy

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