Questionable British Foodstuffs II – or – There’s More Where That Came From

Questionable British Foodstuffs II – or – There’s More Where That Came From

January 12, 2014, 9:52 PM
Filed under: Miscellanea

But not at the same time.

Pickled Red Cabbage

There is no such thing as a bad pickle.  HAHAHAHA LOL J/K.  This whole goddamn island is obsessed with taking perfectly good food and sticking too much sugar in it.  This tastes pretty much exactly like fresh honey and lemon.  Only with cabbage in it.  And the cabbage is very, very red.  1/5

Empire Biscuits

Two shortbread biscuits sandwiched together with jam.  Iced, and given a glace cherry or jelly sweet for a nipple.  Ah, biscuit nipples.  Never change.  I don’t even like shortbread, but I would fight a bear for an Empire Biscuit and a nice cup of tea.  Alright, I wouldn’t actually fight a bear, but I’d definitely heavily insinuate that I was prepared to if only I could have an Empire Biscuit (and a nice cup of tea) beforehand to give me the necessary strength.  I wouldn’t lie exactly.  5/5

Yorkshire Pudding

Hey, guys!  You know what this roast dinner needs?  Something with a bit of carbohydrate heft that’ll go with gravy.  NO, Terry, potatoes won’t do.  I mean, yeah, they’re delicious, and yeah, they fulfill all the requirements, but I’m thinking maybe I should just cook some batter with no flavour to it whatsoever.  Yeah, I might do that.  Foiled again, Terry*.  2.5/5

Nik Naks

I like to think that these are what would happen to Twisties if they grew up.  They’d get over that stupid cheese phase, grow out their pimply teenage moustache into a powerful beard and start experimenting with more intense flavours like Pickled Onion and Scampi & Lemon.  I’d be all ‘Where have you been all my life?’ and then we’d ride off on a corn snack motorcycle.  4.5/5

Marmite

Vegemite with sugar in it.  Seriously, fuck you, Britain.  0/5

* Terry is a very funny name.

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