Amy Tries Again


Things I Do Not Like
February 13, 2010, 7:37 AM
Filed under: Things I Do Not Like | Tags:

This list is a work in progress as I’m quite full of hate and can’t possibly list all the things I Do Not Like in one go.

  • Peanuts.  No, I’m not allergic.  I just think they taste disgusting.  At least, that was my opinion last time I tried them, many years ago.  I particularly despise peanut butter.
  • Football.  I have never been to a football game in my life (well, at 15 I went to see my first boyfriend play soccer.  The ball hit me in the head.  Even before then, I didn’t care for it) and had planned to keep it that way.
  • Camping.  Tents.  No toilets or showers (or school camp level ones at best).  Hell on earth.
  • Maths.  I decided at about age 6 that maths was a waste of my time.  Even then I knew that I liked words much, much more.  I had a calculator.  I didn’t imagine that I would ever need to use anything beyond maths in everyday life (I was right, by the way).  I resolved then and there to ignore mathematics completely.  In grade two, we would write in our journals of a morning before doing maths.  I once wrote in my journal for three and a half hours to avoid ever getting to maths.  I refused to learn my times tables.  I would not have any part in long division.  In high school, you could technically give up maths at the end of year ten.  I say technically because nobody else did, and it was very, very strongly recommended against.  I did.  I’m fine.  Screw maths.  (That said, of course maths is very important in the grand scheme of things, blah blah, etc etc.  For me, though, it had the misfortune to find itself on one of my earliest mental lists of Things I Do Not Like.)
  • Ouzo.  I was 16.  I drank a lot of Ouzo one evening at a friend’s (I am not entirely sure why we chose Ouzo – if you’ve never encountered it, it’s a Greek aniseed spirit) and threw up.  A lot.  Had-to-be-showered-and-put-to-bed sort of a lot.  I was a rather rotten little teenager and was very keen on practicing drinking at every opportunity, but this was really pretty terrible.  I have not touched it ever since.
  • Sci-Fi and Fantasy.  Dragons bad.  Spaceships bad.  I am sure there are a few good examples of both genres, but I haven’t found them.  I did AMEB drama exams for a while in early high school, and my teacher thought The Hobbit would be a good book to read a section from for the exam.  I refused to read anything but those few paragraphs.  During the exam, the examiner asked me to improvise a scene where Bilbo Baggins encountered a villan from elsewhere in the book.  I had never heard of this character, but thankfully the examiner referred to him as ‘xxxxxxxx [I have forgotten the name, of course], the snake monster’.  I hissed and slithered around threatening hobbits for about a minute, but didn’t have a clue.  Anyway, it worked.  My point is: Tolkein is generally thought of as a rather good writer of fantasy, and yet from childhood I’ve been deeply against even him.  Those terrible series with badly drawn dragons on the covers haven’t got a chance.  (I admit that I have read a tiny smattering of halfway decent sci-fi short stories – Phillip K Dick springs to mind – but there’s a lot of crap out there…so no.)

I think that will do for now.  Even writing this has made me think that I’ve already half outgrown many of these opinions.  I think I’ll have to start some practical tests.

The question is: what to try again first?

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5 Comments so far
Leave a comment

The ouzo. It’s the one most likely to end in hilarity.

Comment by aarondoyle

This is a great idea.

You’ll need to find someone who really loves Maths though to instill a sense of wonder and joy in you. Maybe start by watching ‘Good will Hunting’, ‘A beautiful mind’ and ‘The Bank’.

I reckon Peanuts are the way to go forward. Try a light spread of peanut butter on nice hot buttery toast. That’s the best way to try it. Maybe even with a bit of jam. Americans are very big on the whole ‘Peanut butter and jelly’ thing.

Comment by Dan Beeston

It most probably won’t be the first Try Again that you tackle, but in anticipation of the time when you decide to conquer camping I have advice!

I’m no expert, but being a Woodford veteran myself I’ve tried camping in unmentionable weather in all forms of shelter and I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s only one way to do it. Drive a van, camp in the van. Make your bed in the back of the van before you leave, set it with a mattress and all of the bedding you usually use.

And definitely take friends. They’re the only good reason to ever go camping.

I love your idea for this blog by the way, it beats the hell out of my Complain and Not Make Much Sense, Really blog.

Comment by KateEdwards

Any ouzo re-tasting will be but a taste test. I don’t think I could manage an evening of it. Still – perhaps I’ll need some chasers that DON’T taste horrible, so drunken antics may yet ensue.

As for maths – I can see the interest in it only in the, well, interesting things. Endlessly tessellating plants (the terrifyingly wonderful romanesco broccoli, for example – seriously, look at this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romanesco_broccoli ), the mathematics of music, showy tricks with numbers. It’s the grunt work that I find so odious. Sadly, it seems to me that you get to the fun stuff after years and years of number crunching. I hope to be wrong. If anyone has any basic maths experiments (the numerical equivalent of pouring vinegar into bicarb soda stashed in a cardboard volcano and calling it science), I’m all ears.

And the camping? I actually think I would quite enjoy aspects of it. I already find nature in general much more interesting than I did as a child (although still only to the point of looking at it for a while and then going to do something else). A confession: I can’t drive a van because I can’t drive anything. I had a learner’s permit once, but it expired. Learning to drive is on my list of things to do…one day.

Thanks for the comments guys.

Comment by Amy

[…] was then, with a heavy heart, that I remembered one of my earliest rants on Things I Do Not Like. Maths. Specifically, long division. My heart sank further as I recalled […]

Pingback by In Which I Learn Long Division « Amy Tries Again




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